Charles Nelson Reilly fan club - by Kerry Doole

THE DEAD MILKMENare four pint-size seedy looking brats from Philadelphia who deliver hilarious punky pop big on satire, short on sophistication. Earlier albums Big Lizard In My Backyard and Eat Your Paisley are cult classics, and now they're out plugging their new Enigma opus, Bucky Fellini.

The deceased peddlers of white liquid are Rodney Anonymous (vocals), Joe Jack Talcum (guitar, vocals), Dave Blood (bass) and Dean Clean (drums). Their real names have obviously been changed to protect their innocent parents.

Over beers, manic motormouth Rodney and more restrained sidekick Dean launch into a laugh riot litany of their personal loves, hates and reflections on life, liberty, lizards and Jerry Lewis. These are generally libellous, obscene and unprintable, but almost unrelentingly funny. You may not agree.

Favorite bands:

Most-hated bands:

We may have the same initials, but I'd rather be compared to Dean Martin. Their song People Are People, where they go 'why do we get along so awefully?' Because you're a flaming loser, that's why! "And that Cure song Why Can't I Be You. 'Cos I'm not a big fat guy with a dumb haircut! And Stryper (label-mates), We've always wanted to bring young girls backstage to their show, then blackmail them!"

Favorite celebrity:

"Charles Nelson Reilly. He's so Cool. He doesn't have books or movies, but he's always on Carson. We don't even know why he's there."

Most-hated celebrity:

"Gavin Macleod. Charles Nelson Reilly is God, Gavin Macleod is the Anti-Reilly! Whenever Elvis saw Robert Goulet on screen, he'd shoot out the TV. If I was rich, I'd do that with Macleod." "And Jerry Lewis. Our problem with touring France in the fall is that they consider him a genuis!"

Best gigs:

"Under-age ones. Most of our audience is 18 or under, so we do all-ages shows. That's where the under-age girls are!"

Favorite tourist attraction:

"Graceland. Every American should be forced to go there. We stuck a Dead Milkmen sticker on Elvis' grave."

Fave cities:

"Philadelphia is cool. You can sell millions and they'll still treat you like scum there. And San Francisco, even if it is hippie central."

Most-hated attitudes:

"It kills me when college kids say you sold out. They're studying for a career in gynecology and will make a million bucks a year. They say 'The Flaming Goo Goo Balls sold out' cos they play in front of 25 instead of the usual 15 people." "And those bands who moan about being on the road. Hey pal, if it's so tough at the top, get off and give us a try. The worst day doing this is 100 times better than the best day doing a job!"

Rock Express #116 '87

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